Amazons International # 45 ************************** Contents: Osprey: Bio; gender roles, the Amazon power Fred H.: What happened to Robin Parker? SCoB: How to deal with males unable to deal with defeat at the hands of a woman? Solan: Tyra of the Rain Date of Transmission: 03.09.94 ************************************************************** Date: 17 Aug 94 22:59:23 EDT From: Osprey <74447.2341@compuserve.com> Subject: Bio; gender roles, the Amazon power Introduction/Bio for Osprey, the Amazon Scientist: I became aware of AI about a year ago, and have been reading the newsletters for a bit, so I thought it was time I introduce myself, make some observations, and issue a challenge. First, the most obvious stuff. I am a scientist. I have a PhD in biological oceanography. For the last ten years, I have been developing computer models of the effects of pollution on aquatic ecosystems and organisms. I do this as part of a small consulting firm. Basically, I'm my own boss, obtaining my own salary as well as several others' by writing proposals and following through. I manage 5 or 10 projects at a time, the products of which are specialized software and/or reports. I also consult and do expert testimony. From an early age I have been active in competitive and physically-challenging sports. I began mainly with competitive swimming, followed by alpine ski racing as a teenager. Nowadays, I much prefer running the bumps than slalom or GS. It gives my thighs a better workout. In the summer, I race my own J24 (24 foot, one-design sloop with crew of 5-6) and sail several other boats including a sailboard. I also enjoy various other physically-challenging outdoor sports like backpacking, bicycling, etc. Several years ago a friend (who has since become much closer than that) challenged me to run a 6 minute mile. I cannot resist a challenge (more of that later), and characteristically never doubted that I could do it. All it would take is a bit of practice. So I started running a few miles each day. A couple months later, I met his challenge. I also really got into the endorphins from running, and have taken up the sport. I now run in races on occasion, and run 4 or so miles 4-5 times a week. My friend wasn't content with merely a 6 minute mile -- he wanted more. So this was followed by situps, pullups, and pushups to the point where on occasion I have done 30 pullups, 75 pushups, and 30 finger-tip pushups. I haven't tested the limits of situps -- they get boring after awhile. All this challenging and meeting of challenges had started one evening over a bottle of Pusar's rum. I had been sailing aggressively all summer, was very strong with well defined arm muscles. My friend remarked on my muscle definition. I suggested I was probably as strong as he. (I'm 5'7", 140 lbs. with relatively little fat. He weighs about the same, slightly taller, no fat.) But how would we test this? Well, by arm wrestling of course! So we cleared a place on the floor, decided that 2 out of 3 would win, and then the competition began. We both became so involved in the process, that we are still involved. Neither of us can remember who won that time. Now, sometimes he does, and sometimes I do. He tends to win on the right arm, and I do on the left. (There is actually an explanation for this-- maybe when I know you all better....) Arm wrestling, running 6-minute miles, and various pushups/pullups don't get to all the muscles at once, however. We needed something which would fully test all our muscles together, and would bring on the endorphins all the more. Over Sauterne and chocolate mousse some years ago we decided to try wrestling as our ultimate endorphin enhancer. So we cleared a floor, laid out a bedspread mat, and the challenge was on. Neither of us had done much wrestling, but we're both in excellent condition. At first, he could beat me pretty handlely, but I put up quite a fight. Eventually I learned how to do it, to use leverage and body weight instead of mere arm strength. I found I could pin him -- not always, he's very strong -- and we can, and do, wrestle continuously for hours. The endorphin high is unbelievable, as is the physical challenge. Speaking of challenges, that brings me back to where I started. OK, so I'm an Amazon. I'm athletically built, self-assertive, and capable of independent decision-making and action. I mostly wear sportswear (but like dresses too) and never wear makeup. I have a strong, self-confident way of walking, strong face, and vivid eyes. I hate false behavior, game-playing, femme-fatale acts, passiveness. To me, an Amazon is not necessarily a bodybuilder warrior type. In fact, I have no desire to go to any extremes, such as bodybuilding represents for both men and women (as excellence does in any sport these days). I pursue sports for fun, and they contribute to my well-being and self worth. I also don't have any desire to beat up men or dominate them. What I am getting at is that an Amazon is characterized as being physically and mentally self-assured, capable, competent. She is independent in the sense that she hasn't bought into the gender-playing role of the dependent, incapable, incompetent, helpless female. That doesn't mean she doesn't like or need men for love, companionship, sex, and partnership in child-rearing. She just doesn't give in to the "don't worry your pretty little head" domination-by-males routine. I am not a "strident, card-carrying feminist", as my lover describes me in an approving tone. However, I am frustrated by the continuing gender-playing of both males and females. Women continue to play the femme fatale role, pretending to be just helpless enough (and often believing it) so that the men in their lives have to take care of them. Many are frustrated, but aren't confident enough in their own abilities (or are unwilling to risk losing their men) to develop some independence. I'm so tired of hearing, "Oh, I can't do that." Often the convenient excuse is that the kids need them so they can't go/do it (and they make sure that is the case). Men, on the other hand, seem to universally have an ego problem. They want their women helpless and non-threatening. They may complain about their wives as never wanting to sail, ski, or whatever, but they're just as happy they don't. God forbid their wives/lovers/significant others (SOs) might do some "masculine" thing (like athletics and careers) better than they do! What would the breathren think? No, better play it safe with an SO that doesn't challenge, even who stays home and replaces his own mom, assuming the "don't be late for dinner" role. I am heartened by the existence of Amazons International, that there appear to be some liberated men out there. (I already knew there were some liberated women, and Amazons, a special class of liberated woman.) I believe that some men are fascinated by, turned on by, and love Amazons. But are any of these men truely liberated? Could they stand and be happy to be married to an Amazon? What about the day-in, day-out comparisons people inevitably make (the non-liberated ones)? Is it necessary that the man be just a bit more competent or successful or IN CONTROL than the woman? Or can the woman be more successful and that is OK? Or, best yet, can there be a balance? The man would be more competent in some things and the woman in others, and there would be a balance. Why must we make the comparison in the first place? Personally I think the scoring is unnecessary and uninteresting. Most people have real strengths, as well as many average and a few weak traits. So what's wrong with that? Do men HAVE to be perfect, or at least more perfect than their wives/SOs? I say no. Both men and women have to give men a break. So I'm advocating that men's liberation needs some nurturing in this society. We have focused on women for quite awhile now. We women will never truely be liberated if the men aren't too. Men need to be relieved of the responsibility of having to be perfect and in control of everything. And they have to give it up too. That total control thing is an insecurity too, an over-compensation out of fear of losing control. So, I challenge you men to put your actions where your mouth is. Don't tell me about some fantasy woman who's an Amazon that you play with or worship in some (secretive) way. Tell me that you love and live equally with an Amazon. Prove you are not threatened by her or any other Amazon, because you are secure enough to not have an ego problem with it. Are you proud enough of her to tell the guys about her capabilities? Do you encourage her to develop her capabilities, even if she might exceed yours? Do you worry about such comparisons? Remember, biology gives men a physical strength edge, owing to hormones, so if you work out as much as she does, what have you got to lose? On the mental side, I'm afraid it's fair game and equality of potential. That's where the real threat is: intellectually, in business, in arts, in science and technology, in personal success. Can you truely live with Amazons? If you haven't guessed already, I've had some frustrating experiences with men who have been threatened by my Amazonness. (Actually, I should say "many", not "some".) I was divorced for such a reason, even though he claimed for years he was proud of me (and he was). The best way to describe my feelings about this is that I'm deeply disappointed. He's now gone to a non-threatening helpless type, as so many men do. I also know many "sportsmen", I'll call them, who rabidly pursue some sport but have do-nothing or at least non-participating wives. Example after example, I've watched them have difficulties in relationships with Amazons, only to find a "bimbo" and marry her. Kids are next, so there's a ready excuse why she doesn't participate in the sport. Yuck! So you guys, are you really looking for an Amazon, or just a fantasy?... and not just arm wrestling and wrestling but the whole program. Do you want an equal partner or just a roll in the hay? Sincerely, Osprey, the Amazon Scientist ************************************************************** Date: Sun, 31 Jul 94 17:35:40 From: fred.halburn@oubbs.telecom.uoknor.edu Subject: What happened to Robin Parker? What happened to Robin Parker? She was a former champion bodybuilder, a very attractive one, I might add. She was supposed to try the ranks of pro wrestling, and was highly touted. What ever happened to her? Has she been successful? If anyone has any info, or tapes of her matches, get in touch with me, please! Thanks! Fred Halburn fred.halburn@oubbs.telecom.uoknor.edu ************************************************************** Date: Fri, 19 Aug 1994 15:26:47 +0800 (SST) From: Stansfield School Of Business Subject: How to deal with males unable to deal with defeat at the hands of a woman? Dear Thomas, At last! I can join a REAL organisation and forward the opinions and achievements of physically and psychologically assertive and independent women. In my current employment I find myself constantly ridiculed by males of a disconcertingly low intellect who have neither the mental agility nor physical prowess to compete with me as an equal. It seems to me that women such as myself need to unite in order to overcome such difficulties. After having said that however, I do sympathise with those males who are more balanced and 'real' in their outlook to the world. It is for this reason that both males and females of reasonable mind should co-operate in order to ensure improved understanding and appreciation of each other's needs. As a sports woman I am currently finding some problem when competing with males with a lesser ability than myself. My victories in sport seem to be consistently viewed as a threat to my opponent's masculinity. This inevitably leads to unnecessarily bitter disputes and general ill feeling. On one occasion I was forced to resort to physical violence in order to defend myself in the face of a barrage of abuse and torrents of bad language -- and all because of my victory. I would appreciate advice from other Amazons on related matters -- i.e. what should one do when faced with male opponents who cannot accept defeat at the hands of a woman? I refuse to believe that avoidance -- i.e. not playing such males -- is an option. The problem is not with myself, but rather with these males -- it is their difficulty not mine. Does anyone else meet with similar problems. In a recent issue of AI (# 42) I note a basket ball player who had written a book about 'strong women' -- this publication is most interesting to me, women in sport and indeed women in victory in sport is something which males must come to terms with. ************************************************************** Date: Wed, 10 Aug 1994 21:07:35 +0000 From: solan@math.ubc.ca (Svein O.G. Nyberg) Subject: Tyra of the Rain [The Tyra saga continues to unfold! See AI # 25 and # 30 for previous installments. (They are independent stories.) See also AI # 27 for a somewhat different approach to Tyra. -- Ed.] There are men. Then there are Men. But not the least, there is Man. Man is a man among Men, born by a man's man on a mean winter night, and possessing a double Y and no X chromosome -- a priest's dream. Man could make your average lumberjack pregnant, and he did. Feared and revered throughout the realm of men (and Men), he was known as the Dragon. ---====*****====--- Tyra looked up the mountain. It was steep and tall, as befits the site of a dragon's lair. And just as with your average dragon lair, a captured virgin was wailing for help at the top -- a male virgin. Tying Wimp up in her belt, Tyra started ascending. Though the rock was pure granite, Tyra helped more pounds of rock down than the rock helped pounds of Tyra up. A serious case of rock erosion, that is. This is why what used to be called Dragon's Rock now is called Tyra's Pebbles. As Tyra came close to the top, she could hear the Dragon roar. Her arrival had not gone unnoticed. She mantled to the top and dropped off Wimp. She could see the furious Dragon charging towards her, ready to fight. She could see why he was called Dragon. At 11'3", he was huger than the men (and Men) she had encountered before. His YY not only gave him hair all over the body except the scalp, but also made scales on his skin so large that they truly could be taken for dragon's scales. As Man let out a roar as he was rather close to her, she could testify to the authenticity of the breath, too. Now it was XX against YY. Man drummed his fists against his chest and roared again. "Stupid bugger," Tyra muttered as she threw a rock into his gaping mouth. His gums bleeding, the Dragon looked perplexed at her. He moved to roar again, but thought twice. But ... this ... this was a WOMAN. But also a perplexed mouth is an open mouth. With room for one more rock. Tyra had a good aim ... Two rocks falling out of his mouth, Man picked up a large boulder to throw against Tyra. By the time Man had sent off the boulder, Tyra was somewhere else. She was standing behind the Dragon, foot ready to kick. "And couldn't the Dragon fly, too," she laughed as she looked up into the air. The Dragon made the worst novice landing ever. Tyra watched as the remains picked themselves out of the rubble, slowly coming to a new and improved perspective on the fight-flight response. ---====*****====--- As Man ran away, Tyra found the virgin standing shivering in the ruins. She approached him as one would approach a little kitten; slowly -- gaining confidence. "You are what I need to continue my line," Tyra said, "a virgin." Slowly she began to caress the young man, who -- though no longer rattled by the battle -- was still trembling in awe at Tyra's sheer size. Such a huge and muscular woman and ... he now saw ... so very beautiful. "Yes. I am Goddess. Yet, her daughter. Goddess is not eternal and cold, like the male gods. Goddess is here and now; she is born, and dies. She continues in her one daughter, whom she has born from her love with a virgin." The young man fainted. ---====*****====--- As the ex virgin woke up in Tyra's bed the next morning, he still could not believe what had happened that night. This huge woman ("GODDESS!" his heart beat) had carried him hundreds of miles while he was unconscious, and was yet able to make hotter love to him than he had heard even in the songs and the most bragging tales of his peers. "You have saved me from the Dragon, Tyra," he said; "Now I'm rightfully yours for ever." He stared up at her, his body weak in admiration. "That is the way of men," said Tyra, "but not of the Goddess." "I will now leave you, to go and bear our fruit." ---====*****====--- And so she did. On the ninth day of the ninth month, Goddess was born. The Wind caressed her soft skin and knew her for who she was -- Aryat. ********************************************************** * Amazons International * * Thomas Gramstad, editor: thomas@smaug.uio.no * * Administravia: amazons-request@math.uio.no * * Submissions: amazons@math.uio.no * ********************************************************** "A Hard Woman is Good to Find" -- The Valkyries